Sharing MY story......

So a lot has happened since i have last been on here!! Our life just gets so crazy, that i hardly have time to sit on the computer EVER! Thank goodness for fb on cell phones lol! Any hoot, The July 4th party at my Aunt and Uncles was so much fun my family and i did skits, josh and i did i love Lucy, and with my whole family we did the island of lost celebrities i was Marilyn Monroe of course lol, then after that the most horrifying and traumatising thing happened. IT was about 11:15 josh wakes me up screaming call 911!, i immediately thought it was the babies so i rushed to their crib finding out they were sound asleep, then i heard the screams coming from outside my front door.....it was a sound no mother wants to hear, a woman had wrecked her car in a storm, it went off the bridge beside our house and her baby was still inside (i didn't find out till later that the baby was 3 weeks old)she Begin to scream the car is upside down and was in a state of panic i already had 911 on the way........it was something i hope i never have to deal with again, i couldn't sleep for nights, its been a week and i still wake up with the screams in my head and hear the banging on my front door desperate for help! The baby did not survive the crash, he was taken down stream in the creek and was found 20 mins later josh came in the house after everything was over and his knees dropped to the floor, he had been so strong and so brave to jump in the water searching for the baby, but felt as if he didn't do his best to save it, his eyes filled with tears, and his voice was all chocked up saying "i just know how much we love ours and if anything....." and that was all he couldn't finish the rest.....the day after was filled with reporters and news cast, i hide inside bc i had nothing to tell them, and out of respect for the family they already had enough to grieve over!, then after finally getting my mind off it that day i get a call and my 911 call is all over the Internet and news! My eyes filled with tears, how i thought then they told me public records anyone can get them, i just couldn't believe there it was everywhere and when i herd it i relived that night over and over again....how could anyone want to hear a desperate call for help to 911 with (the mother of the baby) in the background crying and screaming for help....if that does not leave a hole in your heart then i don't know what will.....but i prayed right then for God to help me and to protect me, bc now everyone had my name my phone and my address...and alot more information about my family that was no longer private...i no longer felt save anywhere i went, much less at my own home! But mostly in this whole triadic event my heart hurt for the family and all of the work crew that night, this is a matter no one wants to see or deal with, and with the out come of that night ending not good is just unbearable......my heart though really hurt for josh bc as he turned around on the side of the creek bank he saw them pull up the lifeless baby, there is nothing on this earth as a parent that can hurt you more! Here this mother stood watching i can't even began to imagine and hope and pray i never will! As hard as this has been for me i feeling finally sharing the way that i feel might help me to finally sleep at night, to finally feel safe at home again, this family is always in my prayers and i pray that God ease their hurt! And i pray for my family that God protect and bless our home, our lives, and our love with Christ! Through all things Christ is the one who strengthens us! Thank you to all my family and friends who have been praying for me, thank you to the ones who came and got me to take me out of the house! Thank you everyone!